Sheriff Santa and the Ghost of Two Gun Jim
A “Sheriff Santa” Story
ROBERT
J. RANDISI is the author of more than 550 books in the Western, Private Eye,
Men's Adventure, and Horror genres. As J.R. Roberts he is the creator and
author of the long running series "The Gunsmith." He also wrote and created
the Tracker, Angel Eyes, Bounty Hunter, Mountain Jack Pike, Widowmaker,
Gamblers, Sons of Daniel Shaye and Ryder series. Born in Brooklyn,
New York he currently resides in Clarksville, Missouri—a town of 500 people overlooking the Mississippi
River—with writer "Christine
Matthews."
As the legend goes, Two-Gun Jim Turner suddenly changed his
villainous ways on Christmas Day, stood up against a gang that wanted to take
over a whole town as a Christmas present to themselves. He saved the town, but
got gunned down at the same time. They say Turner died angry, and still roams
the earth trying to find a way back.
That was forty years ago . . .
* * *
Kate Timmons told Sheriff Andy Tate, “Stand still, will you?”
“You’re pinching me.”
“We wouldn’t be having this problem if you hadn’t gone and got
yourself shot last year while wearing your Santa suit.”
“Wasn’t my fault somebody tried to rob the bank during our fittin’,”
he complained. “Besides, why couldn’t you just darn the hole?”
“It wasn’t just a hole, Andy,” she said. “You bled all over it.”
“Well, excuse me for bleedin’ when I get shot!”
Kate sat back on her heels and stared up at the man in the red
suit, standing on a stool. They’d been playing this game for many years, and
the townspeople were still waiting for them to make it legal.
“My God, Andy, did you get fatter since last year?” she
demanded.
The Sheriff of Great Bend looked down at his own belly critically.
She said this to him every year.
“I don’t think so,” he said, giving her the same answer.
Before Kate could respond a man rushed into Kate’s Dress Shop.
“Sheriff, that fella Brannigan and his boys are over to the
bank.”
“Which one, Harvey?” he asked. The town had two banks.
“The Great Bend.”
“What are they doin’, Barney?”
”I think they’re gonna rob it.”
Andy Tate looked at Kate, then stepped down from her step stool
and reached for his gun.
“Oh no, Andy Tate, don’t you do this again!” she said.
“I’m sorry, Kate,” he said, “but I gotta go.”
“Don’t you get shot in your Santa suit like you did last year!”
“Kate,” he said, “I’ll try my best not to get shot, at all.”
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