Wednesday, November 18, 2020

REMEMBERING THE GOOD THINGS by CHERYL PIERSON

When my husband Gary and I were first married, he would laughingly call me “Pollyanna” –the girl who always saw the good in every situation. Through the years, I have to admit there have been times when that quality has failed me, when things were so bad I didn’t know what we were going to do. I know we’ve all had “those” times. But in general, I’m one of those people who does try to see the good in things.
I think I “learned” to do that from my mom. I thought a lot about this over the last few weeks—fall always makes me remember and miss my parents more than any other time of the year. One night Gary and I were talking about the things our parents had taught us, and I told him one thing my mom taught me was to look on the bright side of things.
I imagine she had to do a lot of that, being the oldest of eleven children in the Dustbowl days of Oklahoma—which was also during The Great Depression. Growing up, I remember how she’d comment on things that meant nothing to me…at the time.
“Oh, Cheryl, I saw the first robin today! That means spring is on the way,” she’d say, with a smile.
And>? my young brain would ask. So spring is on the way.


When spring came along, maybe she’d comment on how green the trees were, or how blue the sky was today—just look at those clouds! Now that I’m older, I realize why these things were important and such a cause of joy to her.
Growing up dirt poor in a small house that had no insulation and very little heat, I’m sure that seeing the first robin was important because it meant those cold days and nights would soon be at an end and warm weather was soon to blow in.
The green of the trees meant there was enough rain to allow things to grow—something I know, as the oldest in such a large family, she was acutely aware of since my grandfather was a hardscrabble farmer and had so many mouths to feed. What a relief, especially here in Oklahoma, that there had been plentiful rain and things were growing well!


The blue of the sky—can you imagine growing up in a time when you could look outside and see huge billowing gales of dust—and nothing else? Animals had to be put up in the barn, families had to be inside, and still, the houses were so poorly constructed there would be layers of dust on the windowsills once the dust storm had passed. So a blue sky was important—no dust, and those beautiful white clouds must have looked heavenly in her eyes.

Mama always found happiness in the small things—small in MY eyes. A good meal she’d cooked for her family, getting the laundry done and put away for the week, finding a good sale on orange juice—yes, those were the days when people would look through the Sunday or Wednesday paper at the grocery store ads, make several stops to find the things at each store that were on sale, and several trips home to put the perishables away—a very different time.
It was not just the fact of the accomplishment itself, but what it meant to her from the things that had happened in her past. A good meal meant there was enough food to go around for everyone, served on a matching set of dishes. No one went to bed hungry. Laundry being done meant that everyone had clothes for a solid week—not one or two good dresses that had to be laundered over and over. Making the rounds of the different grocery stores and finding good “deals” meant she was able to provide some extras with what Dad made in the oilfield. She knew how hard he worked.
So though I didn’t have the past that Mama had—mine was much easier in comparison—I think I learned that attitude through watching her. I’m sure there were times she wanted to just go into the bathroom and have a good cry, but instead, she looked for the good, and found it.
I think of her every time I see that first robin. What a gift that has been to me, in so many ways. Part of writing is thinking about our characters and WHY they act and react like they do. This has been a whole new area of enlightenment for me. I understand so many of my characters even more than I did when I wrote them—their reasoning, and their motivation.
Do you have an aspect to your personality that you inherited or learned from one of your parents or another family member? What are they? Do you think that these behavior patterns can be multi-generational? My mind is whirling! What do you think?
ONE OF MY FAVE PICS OF MAMA AND DADDY TAKEN APRIL 9, 1991, ON THEIR 47th WEDDING ANNIVERSARY

20 comments:

  1. Cheryl, your mom was beautiful! Inside and out. Like her daughter. :)

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    1. Vicky, thank you! What a wonderful compliment, and VERY much appreciated. Thanks for stopping by and reading and commenting!

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  2. Cheryl,

    Good stuff! A lot of maturity there (which can only come with age).

    If that is a picture of your Mom and Dad, it sure is a good one and tells a lot.

    You're always helping people (authors) and doing it with a smile.

    Thank you for helping us.

    My own observation is that life is both bitter and sweet.

    Charlie Steel

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    1. Yes, Charlie, I agree with you. It's very bitter at times, and hard to keep smiling and putting one foot in front of the other. I have had times I didn't know if I'd survive or not, and I'm sure all of us have. But we have to keep hoping for better things to come, and I think that was what I learned from my mom but didn't realize it until much later in life.

      Yes, that's a pic of Mama and Daddy on their 47th wedding anniversary. Daddy was a huge cut-up and loved to tease and have fun. He had a very dry sense of humor, and I see that trait in my daughter.

      Thanks for your very kind words, Charlie. I truly do love to help people. There is no better feeling in the world.

      Thanks for stopping by today, Charlie!

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  3. What a sweet 47th anniversary pic! And so wonderful that you have that memory to cherish always!

    RE:inheriting personality--never thought about it in the context of our outlook on life. I'm definitely no Pollyanna, and try to take a 'middle of the road' approach. What I can say from the inherited behaviors is that I take after my Dad, who, in the grand scheme of things, was the "strong and silent" type. I get my quietness from him, though there have been times in my life people have called me a big mouth. 8-) (BTW, ask my dentist--he always says I have a small mouth so those folks were lying! LOL!!!)

    It's funny you bring this up because I was thinking about this for a current story with a young adult female whose mother passed away several years prior--and what behaviors/impressions were made on this young woman in her own life.

    There are many ups and downs but in the spirit of Thanksgiving I will share one thing I'm thankful for. I grew up in a state on the east coast that is as flat and featureless as can be. As soon as all the steps were in place, I hightailed it out to the American West to the mountains I'd always longed to see.

    So each & every day, I'm so thankful to be able to wake up and see the sunrise over the Superstition Mountains. Totally awesome.

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    1. My mom would often say things like, "Look at (insert niece or daughter). She holds her head just like Mama used to." Which I thought was strange at the time, but as I get older I do more and more of that myself. Expressions, mannerisms and so on I sometimes instantly relate to a grandparent, or aunt or uncle--and even the younger relatives' "outlook" can be compared sometimes.

      When I was 17, my dad got transferred from Oklahoma to West Virginia. We went from the flat prairie lands to rolling hills, small mountains, and rivers. Beautiful in its own right, but Lord, I missed my sunrises and sunsets! Thankfully, the FAA had their training center here in Oklahoma City and my husband (whom I met in West Virginia!) worked for the FAA so he got a job at the center and I GOT TO COME HOME! LOL Yes, I was plenty thankful for that!

      So glad you stopped by today! Hope this helped with your ideas for your current story and your YA female character.

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  4. Cheryl, we do learn from our families as things are passed down from generation to generation. I had a mother who looked at what was and made the best of it. One thing she said that has stayed with me, "You can hate something a relative does, yet that doesn't mean you don't love them." That probably was one of the reasons I was successfull and went into working with troubled youth.

    We learn a lot from our parents and with a mother like mine, it was okay to see the warts, acknowledge them and still care. I don't talk about family much, but I alwasy admired my mother for her honesty and integrity. Doris

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    1. Doris, my mother used to say the very same thing, and I've always remembered that. Sometimes, it's the hardest thing in the world to remember that. That must have been something their parents taught them, as well. Thanks so much for reading and commenting. I appreciate you!

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  5. I learned to appreciate and enjoy the small things from my mother. It was never in an overt way. She didn't have much time to chit chat with all of us. It was more by her actions and the way we were raised. There weren't many extras, but we always had enough and were taught to share what we had. It wasn't until I was in college that my mom and I had time to sit together and just talk. It was then I learned to appreciate how hard she worked to make sure we had what we did and had a good home to live in. She had things I know she wished she could have done, but it never showed. She was always there teaching and helping.

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    1. Patricia, my mom was busy when I was little, too, but it was because my sisters were so much older than I was and entering that teen-age realm of the late 50's-early 60's where chaperones for dances were needed, and organizers of bake sales, and chorus trips needed moms to drive groups of kids, and so on. A very different time. I was the tag-along since my sisters were 10 and 12 when I was born, so I was very young when they were in middle school-high school in all their activities. Mom did so much for everyone and like you say, I don't think any of us appreciated all she did for so many until we were adults. And those were the days of meals from scratch--not many "box" mixes for anything! I admire anyone who can keep a kitchen going for a hungry family and manage to do it day in, day out, along with all the other household chores and the extra running around for groceries, kids' activities, and so on. My mom would stay up late into the night when I was little--it was her only time for herself--and she'd do her artwork--usually china painting. Like your mom, I know there were many things she wished she could have done, too. They were very selfless.

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  6. I can't see your father, but your mother was very beautiful. It's a gift to see the positives, and one you have helped me with. That's something I'LL be forever grateful for, and which stays with me. Thank you.

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    1. Oh, Christine! Thank you, my friend. That is just one of the nicest things anyone has ever said to me. I love you for that! XO

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  7. I love seeing a long-time married couple enjoying each other's company. Absolutely love your mother's joyful face. One of my favorite memories of my mom is one Saturday night when her cousins visited. The dining room table was pushed back, the rag-rugs were rolled out of sight and as one cousin played his accordian, the other brother danced with my mom. I've loved watching the tango ever since because it brings back this favorite memory Perhaps your parents were doing the dip in the tango as well. Lovely post.

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    1. What great memories, Elizabeth! My dad was such a tease--he loved to joke around and could be so much fun. He and my mom went to elementary school, all the way through high school, together. They were truly like two halves of a whole, and so when Dad passed away we were not shocked when Mom followed three weeks later. We all knew they would not want to be separated. Thanks for stopping by Elizabeth! So good to see you!

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  8. Hey! Great post, Cheryl! Blogger is now accepting my comments again, so wanted to reiterate what a great, uplifting post this was. Thanks for brightening my day with your words and fantastic photos.

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    1. Thanks, Richard. I'm glad Blogger got happy so you could comment. I am not much impressed with "new and improved" Blogger! LOL So glad you enjoyed the post, it really got me to thinking about a lot of things that just spun off in all different directions that I want to write about now. LOL (Funny how that happens, isn't it?)

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  9. Cheryl,

    You are such an inspiration to me. I admire your positive outlook. I was a bit teary reading this lovely and heartfelt tribute to your mom. I am the outlier in my mostly optimistic family. I struggle to keep my cynical pessimism contained. I consciously look for the uplifting and the good and the positive, because it doesn't come naturally to me. I do believe we carry forward into our lies the traits forward we picked up from our parents, through a combination of DNA, observation, and circumstances.

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    1. Awww, Kaye. Thank you. I have to say, I now understand why "hope springs eternal"--how could we keep going without it? Getting older, I was able to understand my parents a lot better. I wish I had known then (as a teenager) what I know now and could have related to it, and appreciated them for the things they had lived through and accomplished in spite of the hard upbringing they had--or maybe BECAUSE of it. But you can't "realize" those things until you have some life experience--a lot more life experience than you have during those teenage years! I am fascinated by how mannerisms and outlooks on life, etc., are passed generationally--sometimes from people we don't even know or remember. Thanks for reading and commenting. (I get pessimistic too, sometimes, but it doesn't last long for me.) XOXO

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  10. What a great photo of your parents!

    We all need to learn your mom's trick of appreciating the little things, don't we? Especially in this crazy year, sometimes the little things are all we get and we need to be grateful for them just as much as for the big things. A new book to read and time to enjoy it; your favorite food or drink on the table; the freedom to write ... so many blessings we have, even if the world has gone crazy around us. Thanks for reminding us!

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    1. JES, this revelation--I'm so thankful for it, because it has sure helped me immensely. I truly am grateful for so many little things I used to take for granted. I'm glad you stopped by and read and commented. Yes, in this crazy year, especially, we need to think of the blessings we have in our lives. The smallest things can be so important.

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