HOLLYWOOD WRONG'Os -- Meg Mims

I had no idea that three days ago, Darryle would post about western films. But hey, it's a great subject. And I've always wondered if a lot of beginning writers believe that watching old movies will give them plenty of research material. Oh ye of little knowledge! Read my lips -- Hollywood almost always shows a skewed view. A VERY WRONG view. And no. This post is not all about (ahem) boobs. It's about costumes. And exposed flesh. AHEM.

Need I say more? I mean, this movie poster is just totally wrong in all ways. Yes, Jane, you had a brain, but Howard Hughes exploited -- you in your first film. The censors had a field day over her assets, which "hung over the picture like a thunderstorm over a landscape. They were everywhere." The soldiers had a field day, too, with Jane as a pin-up. Here's more to read about Jane and her jugs: Jane Russell in The Outlaw

One of my favorite things to do when watching western films is noting all the wrong-nesses in these movies. I have no idea who is to blame, since there were plenty of wonderful costume experts in other movies, but it's probably due to the male directors who figured a little bit of sexy, or a LOT (see poster above), would go a long way.

Okay, let's get some other examples on the table.

First, Ann Margret in The Train Robbers. Lovely actress. And paired with the Duke as a poor widow who wants to retrieve the gold her late husband stole to clear the family name. Who can resist, given that cleavage? The Duke's sure enjoying that view. But why is Mrs. Lowe in a room with a man who is not her husband and with her hair down? Uh huh. Maybe they're debating the ribbon and buttons of her corset cover. Hmm.

And here she is wearing "duds" like a man. Hello? Women NEVER wore pants, and if they did, they were treated like Calamity Jane -- eccentric, odd, clearly someone no lady or true gentleman would associate with -- and before you get your knickers in a twist about women working in the fields, yes. They did. In skirts. Look at how Ann Margret's hair is down (see later on for another rant). I bet she's wearing false eyelashes, too. And - and - look at that modern belt buckle, which only came into use due to Hollywood movies. Ha.

What can I say about Ann is clearly showing even MORE of her "charms" like a 1700s century woman -- when fashion had gone to the extreme -- ladies of the French court often exposed one breast. Hey, Ann might as well pop one out! Again, her lovely curls are flowing loose down her back. As for that dress, she looks ready to take out the sheep as Little Bo Peep. Whatever. Someone get her a crook. (cough bad pun cough)

Let's check out to another film, where Judy Garland stars in Meet Me in St. Louis, set in the summer of 1904 before the World's Fair. Take a listen to the "corset scene".

I bet this clip started the whole "Why do I need to wear a corset, for heaven's sake" trend for historical heroines in fiction. Writers figured, "Yeah, why? She'd be far more comfy without one!" Uh, no. First of all, going without a corset back in the 1800s would be like going bra-less in the 1970s. A sign of rebellion, all right, and what in the world are you gonna use to support those puppies? A pair of chin straps? Good grief. Everyone wore corsets in that day -- men, women, even young children. It definitely taught good posture and form. And they really aren't all that uncomfortable -- ask any historical re-enactors -- unless you're trying to achieve a sixteen inch waist like Scarlett O'Hara, which is nearly impossible without taking out a rib. Where's Doc Keith? Scalpel, STAT!

Second big thing, all the nearly grown daughters wear their hair down like young girls. A young woman of fifteen (for sure by sixteen) would be excited to begin wearing skirts down to her shoe-tops (if not the floor) and put her hair up with the fashionable styles. And these young girls in the film prance about the house in front of their father and grandfather, in their corsets, petticoats, and unbuttoned beribboned "dressing gowns". Tsk, tsk. Not that I don't enjoy watching Meet Me in St. Louis, of course, especially the Halloween scene. But you'd think they would have taken the extra few steps.

Okay, let's visit another film: True Grit, with John Wayne (sorry, Duke) and Kim Darby -- who was too old at twenty to play a 14-year-old. She also looked like a boy. What's up with that? Couldn't she have worn a wig? Or pigtails, like Hailee Steinfeld in the latest and far more accurate version. Oh well. At least Kim spouted authentic dialogue.

But how about Grace Kelly in High Noon? She portrays a Quaker bride (no idea what year it's set in), but she also had quite a different reputation in Hollywood than Jane Russell. Which means the costume she was given to wear proved quite tame, if not completely accurate. Sleeves would have been to the wrist, but the dress does have a high neckline. Except for the hat, which looks a bit pre-Civil War, and the lack of a real bustle. And the hot red lipstick and obvious makeup. Yes, Grace has good skin, but nobody looks that polished without powder and blush.

However, if you want to see perfect costuming, see Lincoln. They've got Mary Todd Lincoln's absolutely stunning gowns, based on historical museum references (and Mrs. Lincoln had a 30-inch waist, whoa!), plus President Lincoln's shabby clothing that hung on his 6'4" frame -- he really didn't care about his dress, and stored important papers in his stovepipe hat -- in direct contrast is his shop-aholic wife. She may have been homely in looks, and overweight, but Mrs. Lincoln was definitely fashionable for a First Lady.

Anyone else love to laugh at the costuming gaffes for English Tudor films? Check this out and see the problems from gowns to hair to neck ruffs:

http://www.frockflicks.com/snark-week-9-things-movies-get-wrong-16th-century-costume/

Award-winning author Meg Mims writes historical and contemporary novels and novellas, plus short stories for anthologies. She is also one-half of the writing team of D.E. Ireland for the Eliza Doolittle & Henry Higgins Mystery series. Book 1, Wouldn't It Be Deadly, was nominated for a 2015 Agatha Award and Book 2, Move Your Blooming Corpse, is set at Ascot Racecourse. Meg is working on a cozy mystery series for Kensington that will debut in 2017 under the pseudonym Meg Macy. She lives in Southeastern Michigan, loves tea, books, Mackinac Island, cookies, and currently has a sweet Malti-Poo rescue.

Ranger Jim’s Ramblings for Saturday Matinee

So, I’m supposed to choose my all-time favorite Western movie for today’s posting. That’s like asking me to choose my favorite horse or dog out of all the ones I’ve known, or like asking a mother to choose her favorite child. It’s just about impossible. There are so many classic Westerns to choose from. High Noon, of course. Shane, a film which stayed pretty close to the book, a book which by the way was required reading at my all male Catholic high school. They still have copies in the school library. How the West Was Won, a sprawling epic.

Since I’ve got to narrow this down, I’ll turn to the quintessential Western actor, John Wayne, the Duke. Even that is tough, picking my favorite Wayne Western. There are some easily eliminated: McClintock!, barely a Western, and just plain annoying. The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance, considered a classic by many, just plain too drawn out and boring for me. And of course True Grit, my opinion of which can be summed up in just two words, by changing the title to True (starts with sh, rhymes with grit). Loathed and despised are too gentle of words to sum up my feeling about that film.

When I boil the list down, I come up once again with El Dorado. Howard Hawks insisted to his dying day that El Dorado was not a remake of his earlier Rio Bravo. However, it clearly is, with John Wayne reprising his role, Robert Mitchum taking the Dean Martin role as the drunken lawman, and James Caan taking the Ricky Nelson role as the kid who rides into town and the middle of trouble.

I really like both films. I like El Dorado better for several reasons. First, James Caan is far superior to Ricky Nelson as an actor, who I’m certain was hired just because he was a teen idol at the time. I also prefer Robert Mitchum to Dean Martin, although Martin certainly did a credible job. I also like the action a lot better in El Dorado. There’s more of it, and it’s a bit grittier. Both films have welcome touches of humor. The one scene in El Dorado that always cracks me up is when Caan’s character Mississippi, in the middle of a gunfight, dives into the street in front of two galloping horses, which promptly jump over him. After the shooting is over, Wayne asks Caan why he jumped in front of the horses. Caan replies that horses will never step on a man. I’m certain the line was meant to be humorous, at least I sure hope so, but I wonder how many people got it. Anyone with the least bit of knowledge about horses knows a panicky horse will run over anything in its way.

El Dorado, for me, has everything a good, classic, traditional Western movie should have: plenty of action, exciting shoot-outs, good, strong, likeable heroes, tough and lovely ladies, and some nice touches of comedy. And of course three fine actors in the lead roles. If you enjoy classic Westerns, you should love El Dorado.

          

TRUE GREEN, an Irish Western! by MEG MIMS

Faith and Begorrah! It's an Irish Western!

Well, perhaps that's a bit of a stretch. But The Quiet Man *IS* set in the north and west of the Emerald Isle. It has *the Duke* -- a famous Western cowboy movie star! It has *horses* and a *horse race*! It has romance and *Maureen O'Hara*, who also starred as the Duke's wife in several other great westerns! It has a *great fight*! And not just between the Duke and his brother-in-law, either. Duke and Mo "duke it out" too.

In fact, I would have named this movie TRUE GREEN ... for the bits of real Irish language, Irish-born actors, and lush setting. The Quiet Man was filmed in Ireland for the most part. And it's a lot like the westerns we know and love -- an old-fashioned, men-were-men, women-were-women-and-belonged-in-the-home style of story.

It has a "fish out of water" plot, which allows the Duke to learn the local ways after breaking the rules, and then learn that following the rules doesn't always bring him what he expects either. "Mo" gets to show off her own Irish roots and portray a loving woman, yet fierce in the battle to uphold her dignity and pride in what she deserves - her dowry.

Due to her stubborn brother, she has to fight both him and her new husband! Her brother, the village "Squire," is portrayed by Victor McLaglen - British, not Irish, by birth - and another favorite actor utilized in other movies by John Ford. He also was a prizefighter in his youth, the first boxer to take on heavyweight champion Jack Johnson in 1909. Victor does a fair job boxing the Duke in the movie. They both look like they had a fun fight.

Did you know The Quiet Man was first published as a short story in the Saturday Evening Post? John Ford read it, bought the rights for $10 (TEN DOLLARS??) but before he could get financing for the film, he was told to make a western first. Rio Grande also starred John Wayne and Maureen O'Hara, with Ford directing. But Ford won the Best Director Academy Award that year for The Quiet Man, which also won Best Cinematography. Indeed! Both well deserved.

Keep an eye on the minor characters in the film, from the pub owner to the local widow, the priest, the minister without a parish since all the residents are Catholic, and Michaleen Oge Flynn - played by Barry Fitzgerald to fine effect - the village's matchmaker. I think he's the best quirky character of the lot. You have to cheer him on and smile at his way of looking at things.

But all of the actors gave fine performances, as well as the Irish extras who no doubt had a blast being in the movie. The green beauty of Ireland is stunning. To the left is the cottage where the movie was filmed, and I've also included an image of the bridge in the gorgeous countryside. What's not to like about such lovely green meadows, charming cottages, quiet village life -- which harbors an underlying layer of healthy gossip about residents -- as in any American western town!

Even the music in the movie gives the viewer a sense of place, with Irish airs and a melody penned by an Irish policeman/songwriter, called "The Isle of Inisfree."

On St. Patrick's Day, I'll be popping in The Quiet Man and enjoying a good Irish western. I'll get my teapot out, make some soda bread or perhaps some scones. Or maybe I'll have a McDonald's shamrock shake! I am an American, after all.

And here's the cover of my newly released sequel to my Spur-Award winning western historical mystery, Double Crossing...  showcasing the continuing adventures of Lily and Ace. Double or Nothing is available on Amazon for Kindle, and will also be available in print soon! Check out the book trailer by clicking here!!

A mysterious explosion. A man framed for murder. A strong woman determined to prove his innocence.

October, 1869: Lily Granville, now heiress to a considerable fortune, rebels against her uncle’s strict rules in Sacramento, California. Ace Diamond, determined to win Lily, invests in a dynamite factory for a quick “killing,” but his status as a successful businessman fails to impress her guardian. An explosion in San Francisco, mere hours before Lily elopes with Ace to avoid a forced marriage, sets off a chain of unforeseen consequences.

Despite Lily’s protests that her new husband has been framed, Ace is dragged off to jail as the culprit. Evidence mounts against him. Lily must learn who was actually behind the diabolical plan… and save Ace from the hangman’s noose. Will she become a widow before a true wife?

Here are the BUY LINKS to the Amazon Kindle, B&N Nook and Smashwords.