Wednesday, April 16, 2014

WHERE WERE YOU ON APRIL 19, 1995? by CHERYL PIERSON



Where were you when you heard that Elvis had died? Or John Lennon? Where were you when you found out JFK had been assassinated? Where were you nineteen years ago on April 19, 1995?

Many people won’t remember the date, but they remember what happened. This Saturday, April 19, is the anniversary of the bombing of the Murrah Federal Building here in Oklahoma City. Up to that date, it was the largest number of deaths on U.S. soil caused by a terrorist act. That record was broken, of course, on September 11, 2001, with the destruction of the twin towers in New York City.

On the morning of April 19, 1995, I had gone to work. My job at McDonald’s Corporate Offices was located several miles from the downtown area. I was the “complaint person”—the one everyone called to report everything from an incorrect order to a pot hole in the drive-through on Forty-Ninth Street. We had just received a call from a man who was attempting to sue McDonald’s for a scratch on his car’s paint job. I’d transferred him to my supervisor, irritated at his persistence.

At 9:03, the building shook, and plaster fell from the ceiling onto my desk, and into my hair. We were on the seventh floor of the building, but were not panicked about the safety of the structure.

Someone hooked up the small TV that was used for videos in conferences and we all made our way into the conference room. The picture was grainy since the TV wasn’t on cable, but we were able to see the first reports as they began to come in.

In the beginning, the explosion was thought to be caused by natural gas. Within the hour, though, those initial reports were negated and the public was told the truth. Unbelievably, it had been some kind of bomb.

Another chilling fact was quickly disclosed. Since no one was sure of why the federal building had been targeted, federal and state employees were being sent home from offices in other locations.

My husband worked for the Federal Aviation Administration at the time. Normally, he would have been released. But since he was a former Navy man with extensive military training, he and some of the others with a military background were asked to stay and help do a bomb sweep of the FAA training facility.

The entire facility was on lockdown. This meant I couldn’t get on base to pick up our son, Casey, who attended the daycare there.

Within the next hour, I received a phone call from my mother-in-law, Esta, in West Virginia. You had to know Esta to know, when she put her mind to something, she got it done. In a world gone crazy, with telephone circuits busy and no hope of getting through, she somehow managed without even having my direct number. All she knew was that I worked at the corporate office for McDonald’s.

When I answered the phone on my desk, at the other end of the line was an operator that Esta had commandeered, explained what had happened, and talked into placing the call through as a person-to-person emergency call. I assured the operator that I was Cheryl Pierson and thanked her for placing the call. She sounded worried. “How bad is it?” she asked. “We aren’t sure,” I told her. There was silence for a moment before she turned the call over to my mother-in-law. “Take care, hon,” she said. “We’re all praying for you.” Her voice was gravelly with emotion. That brought tears to my eyes, too.

I didn’t tell my mother-in-law that Gary was still at the FAA, unable to leave. Or that Casey was there, and I couldn’t get on base to get him. I promised to call her when we knew more. I had to get Jessica from school.

You see, the fear was not knowing. Not knowing, at that point, who had done it, or why? How many people were involved? Were they going to target other federal or state agencies…or schools?

I drove to my daughter’s elementary school. The parking lot was full, even though it was not quite 11:30. I asked Jessica if she knew what had happened and was shocked to find out they had had the children in the auditorium with the television on for a big part of the morning…until things got too graphic.

“Are Dad and Casey home yet?”

I put on my best smile. “No, not yet. They’ll be along shortly.”

An hour or so later, prayers were answered and Gary pulled into the driveway with Casey. But our world was changed forever that day.

As the news coverage continued, it was a nightmare we dealt with every day for at least a year: The deaths, the images of loss that came from that day, and the anger.

But there was good that came from it, too. Oklahomans showed the pioneer spirit of those who came before us and rose to the occasion. Because of that tragedy in 1995, we learned the hard way that a terrorist can be home-grown, but we kept strong and showed the world where the bar of the “Oklahoma Standard” was set. When 9/11 happened, many of our first responders and medical trauma professionals rushed immediately to New York City. We were the only other state that had had anything remotely similar happen, and the experience to lend a hand.

Though, thankfully, no one in our family was hurt or killed in that tragedy of April 19, 1995, I don’t know anyone who didn’t know someone—however remotely—that it touched.

I had to quit my job. Casey began having nightmares, and believed his daycare was going to “blow up.” When he built a Lego “daycare” with part of the wall gone and the flag lying in a heap of Lego bricks, I knew I needed to be home with him. Eventually, his fears passed.

But the sadness will always remain for those who lost their lives in that senseless act of terrorism; for those since who have taken their own lives due to “survivor guilt;” for the end of the innocence we might have still harbored—the feeling that we were safe in the heartland of America.

As the years pass, we tend to forget. But as painful as those memories are, we cannot afford to lose the hard-won lessons.

RICK BURGESS PHOTOGRAPHY

A beautiful memorial museum stands on the site today. There is a chain link fence surrounding part of the grounds where visitors come to leave remembrances and mementos. In nineteen years, I still have not been able to bring myself to visit the museum. I’m glad we have it, and that people come to pay their respects. I don’t need to see it, though. I lived it. And I will never, ever forget.

31 comments:

  1. We visited there before the museum was there, and saw thousands of stuffed animals, photos and flowers in the fencing. In talking to people it was obvious that everyone's lives had been changed and time was now recorded in before and afters.

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  2. I was at work at Ft Polk, LA. I remember vividly where I was and what I was doing when both of the space shuttles were lost, when Kennedy was assassinated, and of course 9/11. I remember too the Poe Elementy School bombing in 1959, seeing that I was there.

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  3. I remember clearly that day. I was in Arizona visiting my family for Easter with my young son. I was heartbroken for all who lost loved ones.

    A very heartfelt post, Cheryl. Thanks for helping us all remember.

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  4. Well-written post, Cheryl. Heartfelt.
    I purposefully left McVey off my list of "bad men I have met" in a previous essay. It still seems too raw. Can't believe it's been that many years ago. I did not know her, but a friend of mine--a US Marshals pilot--lost his wife in the bombing.
    That "Lego Therapy" for your son was probably pretty cathartic--at the very least, it showed you what he was thinking.
    Thanks for writing about something so personal.
    Marc

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  5. I think I had a similar, though less intense response to growing up during and after the Cuban Missile Crisis as your son had with the Oklahoma bombing. It wasn't as immediate and my memories of the time are confused with stories I heard from my mother growing up during the Blitz. But I still have dreams of being bombed and I believe I've shared the apocalyptic story that got me started as a writer.

    Children internalize so much more than most people realize.

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  6. The thing that struck me when I heard about the bombing was that it happened in the heart of the country--in a place I always thought of as "safe." I have never felt that safe since. If it could happen in Oklahoma, it could happen anywhere. The thing about heartless cowards who terrorize innocent citizens is that they have no apparent reverence for life--not even a child's life. Why would anyone be drawn to their cause when they kill children?
    Is it just me, or does it really seem that violence is escalating? I never heard of a person killing kids at school until Columbine, but now it seems to happen every week.
    As an Okie, I'm certain you were forever effected by the bombing, Cheryl, but believe me, the entire nation felt the horror of it. Thank you for reminding us with your thoughtful post.

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  7. I was working on the 16th floor of a Nashville office building. We watched the news reports in disbelief. I took my break and walked into the law library (not where I usually hung out!) and the first volume that caught my eye was a book on Alfred P. Murrah. Gave me chills.

    I know your city lives with the memory every day. Thanks for the tribute.

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  8. I almost didn't read this. Even all these years later, I wasn't sure I could.

    I did, and for reasons I don't quite understand, it brought tears to my eyes.

    My family lost members in the Oklahoma City Bombing. An elderly cousin and her husband died in the Social Security office inside the Murrah Building when the bomb went off. They had just returned from Africa, where they had spent most of their adult lives as missionaries. Lovely people devoted to helping those in the direst poverty, gone in an instant.

    Everyone dies, but when lives are taken in such a senseless, vicious way, shocked disbelief settles over those left behind, followed by a tremendous anger that can take years to dissipate. Sadness, fear, and confusion can last forever, especially for children -- even those not directly involved. The Oklahoma City Bombing stole something from every American, not just the families of the victims.

    For a long time after the bombing, the media and everyone else talked about "closure for the families." Please don't ever do that. There is no closure. Even McVeigh's execution didn't heal broken hearts and broken lives. In some cases, nothing ever will.

    You did a beautiful job of reminding us about a seminal moment in America's history, Cheryl. Thank you. :-)

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  9. It's so easy when you're not involved in an incident to let it slip past into the pages of history, but this incident is still very much alive for you, Cheryl, and I appreciate you message that we need to remember incidents like this so that they don't catch us off guard again.

    The reason 9/11 has stayed so fresh in everyone's mind is the sheer number of people involved and the horror of seeing it unfold on network television. The Oklahoma bombing has faded from the general public's active memory, but hopefully your reminder and others will be a powerful memory jog.

    Sending you a hug.

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  10. I was working at a Dentist office. Most of us had young children and was devastated by the loss of the daycare. Seems like tragedy's are way too frequent these days. Almost blurring together.

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  11. I remember clearly where I was. I was the principal at a little school in southeastern Colorado. The town, which is located right on Hwy 287--a major north-south highway--at the time had about 250 people. This town is known for being the headquarters of the once powerful American Ag movement. You may recall this group from the farmer tractorcade that descended upon the White House in February 1979. This is the town that also petitioned the US government to cecede from "the Union". 0_o In their heyday, the American Ag folks were apparentlly known as a strong-arming, activitist group with power to make or break fellow farmers if they didn't support the movement. I'm explaining this because, not long after the bombing, the FBI swarmed this town and surrounding area, because there was some 'evidence' that "John Doe 2" or even Terry Nichols were being 'hidden' here by the higher-up members of the American Ag group. At one point, our school went on lock-down before lock-down was standard operating procedure.

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  12. I still shudder at the horror of it. Demented minds.

    My heart goes out to all those who died or lost family and friends.

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  13. Cheryl, I'm so glad you stopped by today!

    Yes, you're right--I like the way you put that, "everyone's life was recorded in befores and afters"--so true! I have never been to this day, because I know if I did, I'd be a big ol' sob puddle in the middle of the floor. I know it's amazing.

    So many times, I have seen images of the fence with the cards, letters, stuffed animals and memorabilia there. It just breaks my heart every time.

    Thanks for coming by today, Cheryl, and commenting.

    Hugs to you!
    Cheryl

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  14. Gordo, how old were you in the Poe Elementary School bombing? WOW that must have affected your entire life!

    I remember every event you mentioned and where I was, what I was doing, but I was only 2 in 1959 so don't remember the Poe bombing.

    Maybe you could blog about that sometime.

    Cheryl

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  15. Kristy, you're welcome. I know these events have become so frequent now it's almost like it's run-of-the-mill anymore--what a sad commentary on our society!

    Thanks for stopping by. I wasn't sure about posting this, but I'm so glad I did. We need to remember.

    Cheryl

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  16. Marc, I have a theory that Tim McVey was a bona fide demon in human skin. I bet you've seen a lot of those in your line of work, but some stand out more than others, I'm sure.

    I guess the hardest part for us was seeing him on the news (which had to be) and knowing that was just what he was wanting. For that reason--I'm glad you DIDN'T mention him. I guess the worst thing for him would be that his name would be forgotten forever.

    Even up to his death he stared with no emotion, no feeling at all, no remorse right at the people who watched.

    I'm sorry for your friend's loss--so many innocent people taken, and so many others affected by it.

    Yes, I have to say, that was a real eye opener when Casey built that bombed out Lego building. Wish now I had taken a picture of it. He was 4 years old, and I had no idea he was soaking up so much of what was going on.

    Thanks for commenting, Marc. I appreciate it.
    Cheryl

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  17. Ali, you are so right. And adults become de-sensitized to it, hearing it on the news and being able to process in their minds what really happened, but kids aren't old enough to do that and their imaginations take over.

    I didn't hear the story you're talking about, so of course, I must hear it when you get a chance to write it down or blog about it--and if you've already blogged about it, please share the link here so we can read it!

    Thanks for coming by and commenting!

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  18. Sarah, you're so right, and that's what McVey intended--that the entire nation would feel unsafe because of WHERE it happened. Such the "detail man", he thought, but it was that one small detail that got him caught and put to death.

    For him to call the deaths of those little children "collateral damage"--ugh. There are no words.

    I know the entire nation felt it right along with us. We had the love and support of everyone all over the world. I had a friend who would have been surely killed had she been at work that day. Her building was across the street and when the bomb went off, the brick wall behind her desk fell forward and crusher her desk to pieces. Just happened she had called in sick that day.

    Thanks for stopping by. You are always so supportive!
    Cheryl

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  19. Oh, Vonn! That just gave me chills when I read that. I don't believe in coincidences, no matter how small.

    Thanks for stopping by today. I appreciate you, dear friend!

    Cheryl

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  20. Kathleen, I'm so sorry for your loss. You're right--McVey did take something from every American that day. We just have to keep working to get it back and not live in the shadow of fear of every day living.

    And you are right about "closure"--that has become such a buzzword anymore and it just irritates me when the news media throws it around so blithely. There is no getting over the death of a child. Ever. And for the families who lost adult members of their families, you're right about them being taken so suddenly and senselessly--the anger it builds never goes away, and "closure" can never happen. I always picture a door closing when I hear that word. A door can never close on a beautiful life that was taken for no reason, by a demon.

    Love to you, Kathleen. Thanks for commenting.

    Cheryl

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  21. Maggie, bless your heart for coming over today with all you've got going on! I haven't made it over to see your pictures of your beautiful new home, but I will. I don't know how you have time to do anything right now but empty boxes!

    Thanks for stopping by--yes, it's always still raw here in Oklahoma for us when that day rolls around. There's a ceremony every year, and names are read, relatives gather, and so on. And I'm sure this year it will be very poignant with it being right before Easter--the time of renewal and rebirth.

    Thanks for the hug, dear friend! Always welcome.

    Cheryl

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  22. Lynn, isn't that the truth! So many things that happen like this anymore--well, not "like" this, but the tragedies of school shootings, the recent stabbing in PA, and just crazy, mean things that take place in society in general.

    Thanks so much for commenting today!

    Cheryl

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  23. WOW Kaye. Thanks for your comment. You guys had to be scared to death! I remember when they were looking for Terry Nichols and John Doe 2, but didn't realize just how close you were to that! Good grief, you must have been beside yourself with that all going on. But knowing you, you kept a cool head and did what Churchill advised, "Keep calm and carry on." LOL

    Thanks so much for you explanation and comment.

    Cheryl

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  24. Jacquie, I don't think McVey was demented--I think he was just downright evil. Okay, maybe that's the same thing. LOL Yes, like you, I still think about those little children especially and the families that lost any family member at all. One good thing about living here in OK, is that we also get to see the kids that survived and what they're doing now, how they overcame injuries, etc. Some sunshine out of the darkness.

    Thanks for coming by today and commenting!

    Cheryl

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  25. Cheryl, a very beautiful and powerful gift you have given to us. I was at work. I felt saddened at the need of people to feel that death and destruction are the only way to deal with problems.

    Over the years I have dealt with the remnants of man's inhumanity to man and animal and I hope we never get 'used' to it.

    Thank you so much for sharing such a personal and powerful story. Doris

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  26. Doris, thank you for coming by and for your very kind words. Like you, it's very sad to me that some people feel that's the only way to solve a problem. I, too, hope we never get "used" to it and accept it as some weird kind of "oh, well, that's what happens" type of behavior. Thanks again for commenting. I appreciate it.
    Cheryl

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  27. A heartfelt blog indeed, Cheryl, showing how events can leave a scar. And next year will be the significant 20th anniversary.

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  28. Wow. Good post. It also made me think that perhaps my wicked characters are not deadly or sociopathic enough. Timothy McVey would be a good (pun intended) person to base a baddie on. Thanks so much.

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  29. Nik, I'm sure they'll plan even more of a ceremony next year, as it should be. Anytime people's lives are taken like this by violence it's important to remember, I think. Thanks so much for stopping by today.
    Cheryl

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  30. Oh, Charlie! I think your wicked characters are just perfect! I wrote a baddie for my contemporary romantic suspense, SWEET DANGER, who was a sociopathic killer--murdered his own sister, etc. but he had a twisted soft spot in him for kids...up to a point. I think he was one of the weirdest baddies I ever created, and the heroine in the story almost began to see the "human" side of him, which really wasn't there, but what he knew he could fool her with. He was a mastermind at messing with people's minds. There's evil that can be studied and possibly a reason can be seen for it--but Tim McVey? I don't think there are enough psychiatrists in the world to figure out what was going on with him. And I think some people are just evil. They don't need a reason.
    Cheryl

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  31. I remember very well the day Kennedy was assassinated. I was at work at the Federal Aviation Agency, and it hit all of us hard. I think I still have a newspaper with the headlines.

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